Superhero change in the wrong bathroom!

Office Politics

It wasn’t even noon and already I’d been shot at and blown up. You have got to love the city. At least nobody got hurt. Well, except for the criminals taking hostages at the bank. Unfortunately, I had to break one of their arms. The others will have concussions with varying degrees of severity. They deserved it for making me late. Again. Besides, who the hell robs a bank anymore anyway? Everyone knows that they don’t keep millions on site. All of the money is pretty much just zeroes and ones in a computer these days. I figure the bank has maybe $20,000 in cash. I mean that was more than I was making in a year at this point, but I wouldn’t want to throw away years in federal “make me your bitch” prison for it.
At least after I had the time to pick up the morning coffee orders that my department always demanded. The office was full of creatures of habit that always got the same thing so I was confident when I picked them up from that place on the corner before sneaking back in to change. I couldn’t make it in the front door because if I had I’d surely have been busted for being late again by my micro-managing fat ass of a boss. So I slid in through one of the slim bathroom windows and dropped down into a stall. As I did my bag containing my regular clothes snags on the window and I damn near hang myself over the shitter. Fortunately I’m not too vulnerable and the only victim is one of the special order coffees that makes a splash in the toilet. Great. Who was going to cry over not getting a coffee? I free myself out of the possibly embarrassing situation. Thank God nobody saw or they would have thought I cracked under the stress of the office. Or even worse, that I was pulling a “Carradine” at work. I can see the headline now, “Employee dressed as superhero dies in office sex game.”
I finish changing and stuff my heroics gear into my messenger bag/would be noose. Then I glance in the toilet. I’m not fishing the cup out, because I’m not certain the coffee is the only thing that made the water warm and brown. I compose myself and exit the stall only to walk right into Tim and Eric from billing. Their faces are bewildered as they take me in. Eric isn’t even bothering to finish closing his pants, and Tim still has soap bubbles on his hands. Damn it I must have gone in the men’s room window. I really need to slow down.
Eric breaks the silence first, “This isn’t a bathroom for interns Laura. Even if they’re sneaking in from last night’s costume party.”
Well at least he was a dumb asshole. Tim on the other hand was drying his hands and giving me a knowing wink. He handed me a new paper towel and told me my “mascara” was running. It was soot from one of the bombs. I offered him a coffee which he accepted, thanking me for the coffee and everything else I do in the office.
“Oh get a room, I’d like to finish here,” Eric interrupted. “You can leave me one of those coffees on your way out Laura.”
“Oh sure thing sir, I already left it in the stall.” I smile as I push open the door.


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